Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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