I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
