Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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