i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
