i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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