he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
