Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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