Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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