My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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