You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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