My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
