I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
the raccoons are back...
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