I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
