Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
