Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
