I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
