My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
there's paper in my vomit.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
