So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
