Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Bring me that man meat
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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