I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
