so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
