I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
