Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
