I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
