You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i will never coherently bang her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
