I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
