There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
