After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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