even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
