Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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