'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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