Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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