yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
