I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
