For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
