it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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