We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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