I love black thongs
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
