Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
