If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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