Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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