Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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