how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Drunk is a universal language darling
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
