She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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