all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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