If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
