I'm going to jail i love you
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize