in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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