I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My penis needs a shock collar
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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