its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
