I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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