dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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