Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize