Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
