Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
