I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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