he wants to bone in the snuggie
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize