I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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