i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize