community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
