U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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