If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He shit in the fireplace
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
